you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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