yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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