She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
