oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
