I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
