Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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