remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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