After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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