Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
