Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
