no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
