I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
