At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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