I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
