this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
there is glitter all over my balls
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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