She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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