You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
