Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
