I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
