Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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