Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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