does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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