The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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