we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize