Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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