you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
