my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
