C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
