OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
