Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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