So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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