Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
