Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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