I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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