those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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