Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
