i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
