Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
