I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
