Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
