I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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