About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i now understand why vodka
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
