bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
