I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Even my vagina gasped.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
