I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
