His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
