You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
