Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
