i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
