Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
