I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
