it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
COCAINE IS GR8
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
