where am i from again
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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