we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
