Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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