I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
