Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize