last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
