I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
