I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
