Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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